Child Development Chapter VII. The First Two Months a. Setting the Stage

So, after a lapse of over three months, I am getting back to this project of working on a more complete guide to child development and parenting in the first five years of life that I began some 10 months ago. I am hoping that some of you who read this will throw in your own questions, criticisms or observations which will help guide me as I continue to work on this. What is written at this point is still open to change Read on for material from Chapter VII. The First Two Months ...

One thing you should know about babies is that they are born with all the equipment in their brain to respond to the appropriate stimuli in their environment so as to develop in a normal and healthy way. Right there, you can see that there are two things we are talking about. On the one hand, we are talking about a baby who has a brain that is a "self-organizing system." On the other hand, we are talking about your relationship as parents with your baby. You are the ones who have to give it the right stimuli and challenges in just the right dose, at the right place and time, for it to develop normally. In other words, the baby requires a good relationship with its parents for optimal development.

Now don't worry about things such as what are the right stimuli, when is the right time, how much of a challenge etc. On the one hand, just watch and respond to your infant according to their signals to you. On the other hand, doing that in a good way really comes naturally to most of us. If you are really unsure about yourself, perhaps because you know your upbringing was not the best and are therefore concerned about whether you will do the right job, that might be the time to do some more reading, watch appropriate YouTube videos or even see a professional.

Another thing that is good to know is that much of this development for the first six months to a year is based on feeling, or affect, to use a more technical term. That is because, if you think about it, your baby is not really thinking yet like you do. He or she is just experiencing life and his or her optimal development depends on you providing the right experiences. Even when the baby begins to organize its brain in a pre-thinking way, in what we refer to as 'representations', it still has no words to put around what it is experiencing and feeling. This comes later. What is going on in its brain now is referred to therefore as primary process, a primitive level of experience and response.

All of these experiences are shaping how parts of the brain and the connections between them are developing. The sharing or exchanging of feelings, or affect, in these early months, is the means by which the social environment in which the baby is being brought up influences the development of the brain in important ways that will eventually lead to self-regulation. This refers, of course, to the ability of a person to control their own feelings, especially anger, which is something we all want of our children, and the sooner the better. Too many tantrums over too long a period of time can be quite trying to the best of parents, not to mention the problems that will surface when the child starts school.

The other important thing that is going on here, if things are going well, is the increasing level of comfort, understanding and trust that develop between parent and child, which we can refer to as attunement. How well this is going will determine how child's attachment style will be shaped. Attachment, of course, is that important element of the person that describes and determines how they relate to others.

On the other hand, or conversely, if a baby is not sharing good experiences, if there is not good attunement to the environment, excessively high levels of negative feeling or affect can actually slow down or inhibit the development or growth of these important systems that lead to self-regulation. The development that occurs here is not only psychological, but also has to do with the body's physical function and regulation or homeostasis. I am referring to disturbances that eventually result in things like headaches, stomach upset, sleep problems, bowel problems and even skin conditions. Of course, poorly or unregulated control of stress on the infant and in the interaction with the caregiver can cause insecure and other abnormal types of  attachment and, if severe and prolonged enough, lead to other brain disorders or psychopathology such as personality disorders, anxiety, depression, and in the worst-case scenarios lay the groundwork for the development of a psychopathic or sociopathic person. All of these conditions, if experience and the environment continue to add to them in a negative sense as a child grows, can ultimately also yield to worse disorganization of the self, or psychosis.